The Day I Flashed An Entire Town

Exercise, like eating healthy, is a love/hate relationship. It can be tough getting yourself to do it, but once you do and get into the habit, you feel better. Last Fall, I convinced myself to start jogging again. In past years it's been a total bitch, but it's gotten easier the less I think about it, which leads to less procrastination and overall less hating myself. Maybe I should have thought more about it on this day.

I had just bought some new shirts from Macklemore's endorsement of a fitting establishment, and one of those was this brightly colored workout shirt. It fit great, felt good, and was super light. Made by a company that rhymes with fajitas, I threw it on one humid Summer day.

The run went great. I was surely going to suffocate a couple climbs, but the ego boost of passing a couple people half my size who had probably already ran more than I do in an entire week, helped. Equivalent to trekking through an invisible soup, my shirt was totally drenched.

Back at the apartment, I go straight to the room where you, uhh, do stuff several times a day. It's when walking past a mirror that I glance at myself, and realize what has just happened: I've scarred the entire town with my hairy keg of jello.

APPARENTLY, when a super thin, bright workout shirt gets soaked, sticking to your skin, it can become see-through. Thinking back to the baseball game, the parks full of children yet to be crushed by adulthood, and the untold drivers who hopefully didn't have to sing the State Farm jingle, I could only imagine the horror.

There's some things in life where you just gotta laugh to keep from crying. My thoughts and condolences go out to everyone who may have sufferred that day.

I guess now I kinda know what it feels like to wear recalled Lululemons.

Photo credit: Michelle Tribe


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